forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
