I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize