I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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