we have pet lesbian snakes
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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