I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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