I can't watch pbs sober anymore
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
