I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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