I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
