i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
