I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
