Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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