If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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