Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
