i barfeds in our rink
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
