Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
