Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
