i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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