is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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