I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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