stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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