I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
