That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
