Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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