Joe is yelling at the trees again.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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