I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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