Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize