Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
