I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
