we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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