Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
