How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
