2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Small penises have feelings too.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
