I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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