We're like a lot better than the average bears
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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