omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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