I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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