fuck your aforementioned shoe
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
