thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
