So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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