Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
