i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
