Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
