you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
