it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
