fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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