I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
