Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
