Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
