I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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