Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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