i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
