Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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