You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
