She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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