i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
