I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
