and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
