it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
