god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
