All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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