If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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