Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize