Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
no more duck duck goose at the bar
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
