just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
