She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
