I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
