called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
