Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
