Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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