If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
