so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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